Milk: It Does a Body...

Good?  For most of my life, that's what I believed - that milk does a body good.  For most bodies, it may be true.  There are those, however, who argue that cow's milk is unnatural and unhealthy for humans.  When I first discovered such people, I thought they were nuttier than nuts, but now I wonder if they might be onto something.  I am not so passionate about the evils of milk that I would try to persuade anyone abandon it, but I am passionate about a little boy to whose body milk cannot be said to do good, and in light of certain very positive comments about that boy, tonight I will share our family's journey to (almost) dairy free.

If I had to pick a "first step" in this journey, I would go back in time about a year.  John was in the middle of an outbreak of eczema that landed him prescriptions for antibiotics, oral steroids, steroid cream, and Zyrtec, as well as over-the-counter dry skin lotion.  He's had eczema for years, but this was worse than it had ever been.  A physician-friend of ours recommended removing milk, and possibly gluten, from his diet.  We replaced yogurt with kefir and played around with almond milk, coconut milk, and rice milk.  Then summer came and our efforts at dietary modification fizzled.

July brought concerns in another arena, as my pediatric gastroenterologist brother-in-law advised us to get Andrew tested for celiac disease.  I'm glad to say that particular concern has been laid to rest and Andrew is doing well.  But between my brother-in-law's recommendation and the relief of finding out that Andrew is okay, I spent a lot of time reading about gluten, which led to a lot of time reading about dairy, which led to discovering that a lot of John's (ahem) "unpleasant" behaviors fit the descriptions many parents gave of children with milk allergy, intolerance, or sensitivity.  Reading descriptions of other children who had been helped so much by going dairy-free led me to consider that option, but honestly, I felt a little crazy and a little like I was making excuses for my own bad parenting.  Surely, milk couldn't be causing my child to be so difficult that we wondered if ADHD medication might be in our future.  I could make a long list of things I could do better as a parent, from instituting a more regular schedule to being more consistent with discipline to sending him outside more to enrolling him in an art class (which we did, and it was amazingly therapeutic for him).  I had so many reasons why milk couldn't be the answer, but I had an increasing desire to ban it, just to see what happened.

When Geoff's parents visited in September, we had enough outbursts for me to decide it was time to go dairy-free.  A week later, I was stunned by how much calmer and even-tempered John was.  A few slip-ups in which a glass of milk or milk on his cereal turned our pleasant home into a raging battlefield convinced me that milk did indeed play a role in the behavioral concerns we'd had.  And here's the sweet part:  Geoff agreed.  Generally, Geoff's a pretty cut and dry, no excuses kind of guy.  He's kind, considerate, and forgiving, but he also recognizes that out in the big bad world, nobody cares why you're acting up... You just have to have your act together.  So when he recognized that milk was wreaking havoc in our child's system, it was such a relief.  I wasn't crazy, and I wasn't making excuses!

Our pediatrician confirmed our suspicions.  She didn't do any allergy testing on him (something I suspect is in his future), but said that the sugars in milk can trigger hyperactive episodes.  Due to something in the processing, cheese is not as great an offender as milk, ice cream, and yogurt.  So far, cheese has retained its spot in our refrigerator.  The rest has gone.  Once in awhile, I'll sneak in some yogurt for myself or some ice cream for a special, very limited treat.  But most of the time, you'll find our shelves stocked with almond or soy milk and kefir, a yogurt-like drink that does not send John over the moon.

And John is learning.  We've talked about how his body responds to milk, and he's beginning to understand that he is much better off passing the milk carton.  When I tell him he can't have something, he casually asks if it's because it has milk, and accepts the affirmative answer without objection.  The other day, he brought a candy wrapper to me and said, "It's milk chocolate, but I think it'll be okay."  He's also figured out what brand of almond milk he likes best and asked to have jelly beans instead of ice cream.  As for his skin, the original prompt to go dairy-free, the jury is still out.  He's had a couple outbreaks this spring, but nothing a little cream and allergy meds can't handle.

So we're in a pretty good place right now.  Twice in the last week, people have commented on the change in John, saying he is calmer and more even-keeled than before.  If I hadn't told people, back when I was  eighteen and a genius, that my children would be perfect, I might tell you now that John isn't perfect, but has come a long, long way in the last year.  There was a point in this whole journey when Hebrews 12:13 came to mind:  Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.  We've had some bumps, but removing milk from our home has made John's path, and all of our paths, a lot leveler.  I'm so proud of John for accepting this change as gracefully as he has, so very pleased that it's made such a difference in him, and so very, very excited to see where his level path will lead him!