Life Lessons

I had planned to write tonight about moms' sick days or running or giving oneself a break or maybe all of the above.  However, as it so often does, Life disrupted my plans.  More specifically, that aspect of Life more commonly known as Death, visited our home and delivered a whirlwind of emotions, some of which I will not unwrap till tomorrow, when my children ask where our kitten is.  To make a long story short, the kitten we rescued a week ago (see previous post) developed a sore on his neck that began bleeding this afternoon.  I considered taking him to the vet, but the bleeding seemed to have abated.  It began again this evening, but by the time I realized the gravity of the situation, there was nothing to do but hold the poor thing until it was over.

You may laugh at me, if you will.  There's a part of me, a deeply hidden rational seed that tells me it's a kitten that had been in our lives for a mere week and will quickly be pushed to the back of our memories as we get on with the business of daily life.  But there's another part of me that rails against Death in general and the sorrow it imprints on the hearts of those it visits, and that insists that no life, however small, is trivial.  (I make exceptions for ants and roaches, especially ants.)  Beyond that, I grieve that my children will have to face Death tomorrow morning.  They have seen kittens come and go.  This kitten is the only of its litter of three to have survived birth, and the previous litter of four perished when their mother neglected them.  (YES!  We WILL be getting her fixed!!!)  So, they've seen Death, and understand that sometimes nature isn't all soft and fuzzy.  But, with the exception of Andrew's turtle years ago, an excruciating but mercifully short-lived grief, they've never lost a pet.  I dread their reactions in the morning when I have to tell them that Phineas Finny Phoenix Runt, a.k.a. Tiny's Baby didn't make it through the night.  I know they will survive.  I know they will not be scarred for life.  I know they will learn some valuable life lesson from this.  Still, my babies are going to grieve, and I hate everything about that - from having to inflict this pain on them to wondering if a trip to the vet could have prevented it to watching my children mourn.  Perhaps - fingers crossed -  they will surprise me by taking it all in stride.  If not, I will be thankful for my children's tender hearts and the privilege of helping them through the harder lessons in life.  I'll let you know how it goes...