The Aim of Parenthood

What is your aim for yourself and for them? 

What do you hope for them? 

And yourself?

The questions above come from a member of my church and are questions I believe every parent should consider. What are our goals for our children? What do we hope for them? What do we hope for ourselves? All well worth considering.

The simple answer is found in the words of Jesus Christ in John 10:10 -

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

My aim for my children is life to the full.

In regard to God - 

I desire for them to know and delight in their Creator and Savior. I do not want them to go through the motions of church, but to revel in the life of Christ, wherever He leads. I want Jesus Christ not to be an overused name, but their very real redemption, consolation, strength, hope, and joy. I want them to embrace God, not out of fear or guilt or tradition, but out of love and thankfulness and sincerity.

In regard to Family - 

I want them to consider their siblings their closest friends. Having lost one sister, I know siblings are irreplaceable. Having developed a close friendship with my remaining sister and having gotten to know my brother as an adult, I know how no one keeps you grounded like the ones who... well, got you grounded. Siblings know your weaknesses and strengths - in part because they share many of the same ones. They also know your history like no one else. So I want my children to make the best of that when they are grown.

Of course, I want them to love their parents, now and always. More importantly, I want them to know their parents love them. No. Matter. What. I want them to know that we will always be there, seeking their best and ready to give all we have for their good. (And if they stumble upon this blog, "their good" does not necessarily mean an iPad, a cell phone, a $200 Lego set, a car, or any other number of things that might not be as necessary as they think!) I want them to look back on their childhoods with fondness and look to the future with hope, knowing we're cheering for them all the way.

I want them to find spouses who will love, honor, and enrich them. I want them to give themselves fully and only to their spouses - not settling for cheap imitations of love, but waiting for real deal and then diving in with zeal, fully committed to growing old and gray with the one they have chosen. I want them to know that a happy marriage is a decision they make. Every day. And I want them to make that decision. Every day. I want their spouses to make the same decision. And I want them to give me grandbabies. Lots of them, so I can coo over their darling little faces and remember the days when my own sweet babies were small enough to hold in my arms.

In regard to Others -

I want them to treat others with respect and kindness. I want them to forgive and love freely. I want them to appreciate the abundance of their blessings and seek to bless others.

In regard to Self - 

I want them to be confident, yet humble, and as gracious toward themselves as they are toward others. (And I want that to be super gracious!) I want them to view their mistakes as lessons, their weakness as opportunities, and their successes as gifts. I want them to find something they love to do and something at which they excel.  Hopefully, those will be one and the same thing. Without being prideful, I hope they will recognize the gifts they have to offer to others and delight in offering up the fruit of their labors.

In short, I want them to have life, and have it to the full.

And what do I want for myself? 

I guess it's pretty simple, really. I want all that I want for my children and two things more: 1) I want to be a woman who faithfully models all of these things for her children, and 2) I want the joy of seeing my children rise to take hold of them.

Thanks, Ruth, for the excellent questions!