A Lesson from John Donne

Driving to Art yesterday, a day full of tumult after unregulated consumption of brownies by one of my darling babes the previous night, I was encouraged, challenged, reinvigorated when I remembered the words of a friend, spoken years ago as she struggled to get through to one of her children: "I'm not going to lose this kid."  It may sound a bit dramatic, but it reminds me that the time to capture our children's hearts and minds is short, and that the task of capturing their hearts and minds is worth expending enormous amounts of energy and creativity, worth digging deeper into one's heart than one had imagined ever having to do - all in order to capture a child's heart and mind.  It reminded me that my love absolutely cannot be exhausted. Rather, I must show this child - all of my children, really - that my love remains steady and fully committed to bringing about good for and in him.  I cannot give up, I cannot grow weary.  I must press on, loving obviously and consistently.

In the midst of these thoughts, I remembered one of my favorite John Donne poems.

A HYMN TO GOD THE FATHER.

by John Donne

I.

WILT Thou forgive that sin where I begun,

    Which was my sin, though it were done before?

Wilt Thou forgive that sin, through which I run,

    And do run still, though still I do deplore?

        When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,

                    For I have more.

II.

Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I have won

    Others to sin, and made my sin their door?

Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun

    A year or two, but wallowed in a score?

        When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,

                    For I have more.

III.

I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun

    My last thread, I shall perish on the shore ;

But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son

    Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore ;

        And having done that, Thou hast done ;

                    I fear no more.

I've always derived a certain amount of delight from the knowledge that my second child's name is homonymous with one of my favorite poets of all time.  Yesterday, I felt an even greater joy in the never unnoticed coincidence.  (We didn't set out to name him after Mr. Donne, but I was not disappointed that it happened so).  The lines, "When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done, for I have more" echoed in my mind, a reminder of the Father's unending, undespairing love...  a love to which I must turn when I would rather throw my hands up in despair than wrap them around a frustrated child or allow them to rest at my side, a quiet reminder that when he has done growling, pestering, shouting, or otherwise making himself thoroughly unpleasant, my love hast not done.  I might change the poem a little - "When thou hast done, I have not done.  I have more."  As I commune with my children and with any who share or cross my path, may I faithfully and forever follow the example of the One whose mercy and grace outlast my sin and wretchedness.  May I in ways small and large communicate the reality that God's love is full and free - and forever.