My Darling Girl,
As I begin to write this, you are playing carelessly with your little brother, blissfully unaware of the pressures you will face in the coming years. You are beautiful, with bright blue eyes and a mix of curly and straight hair all too familiar to me. Your aunt often points out how much you resemble me when I was a child. Believing you to be the most beautiful little girl who ever breathed, I am humbled by the thought that something of me is visible in your precious face.
Something of me is visible, too, in your character. Others may not notice, but I see, in how you behave and in how you respond to events in your day, echoes of my own personality and shadows of my own sensitivities, sorrows, and struggles. You are without doubt your very own person and will have your very own experiences and your very own perspective on those experiences. Still, there are moments when I almost grieve for you, wishing to spare your tender heart inevitable sorrow and hoping to prepare you for battles I cannot fight for you.
You are beautiful, inside and out, but there are those who would have you believe otherwise. There are those who would convince you that who you are on the inside is insignificant and who you are on the outside is all that matters. They will whisper that you need to be more or less this or that. They will seek to destroy the carefree confidence with which you entered the world and by which you happily venture out in boys' tennis shoes, purple penguin socks, and hand-me-down clothing. They will push you to change your appearance with the promise that others will find you more appealing if only you...
And you may well believe the lies. Very few girls, if any, do not want to be beautiful, and many of them believe blindly whatever society tells them is fashionable, regardless of unhealthiness or indecency. Knowing there is little I can do to shield you from the pressures of society, I wish to spare you naivety by teaching you early to identify false beauty and honor what is truly beautiful, yourself included.
I offer you, beautiful girl, the following beauty tips:
1. Pretty is as pretty does. Quite simply, your words and actions will impress people far more than your hair, makeup, clothing, and figure. Sure, a gorgeous body and pretty face may attract a lot of attention initially, but unkindness quickly mars even the most beautiful of appearances. When you get up in the morning, whatever else you put on, do not forget to wear love, compassion, faithfulness, and mercy.
2. Don't try too hard. Turn on the radio. "She don't know she's beautiful" is far more romantic than "You're so vain." Better to err on the side of carelessness. If you're working too hard to be beautiful, you'll reek of vanity, and no one finds that attractive.
3. Your body is not for sale. One of my friends has said, "Don't advertise what you aren't authorized to sell." By all means, dress nicely, but remember that you have no business showing off more than is decent. You don't need to advertise your body because you are not for sale. You are your daddy's girl until he gives you away. And when that time comes, you want him to give you to someone whose love for you is based on the shape of your character rather than the shape of your body. Don't waste your time attracting those who are interested only in your body. They simply aren't worth it. Someday, God willing, you will meet a man who won't care if you grow fat, old, wrinkly, and gray. In fact, he'll be delighted to travel the long path to dilapidation with you. Because he loves you, not your image.
4. You are not just a pretty face. You, my beautiful girl, are overflowing with creativity, curiosity, and capability. You can create and discover and conquer. You have more to offer than you can possibly imagine. Step away from the mirror, stop worrying about how you look, and greet the world with confidence. Nurture your mind with books. Develop your soul with thoughtful consideration of your God, your self, and your world. Know that you were created for a purpose, and it wasn't just to sit there looking pretty.
5. Never forget God's love for you. Your friendships will falter. Your loves will fail. At times, you may feel completely alone. You are not. You daddy and I will always be your biggest fans on earth. You may doubt that if you choose, but never doubt the love of Christ. He who knit you together in the womb, who knew all the days ordained for you before one of them came to be, who suffered and died on the cross for your salvation, and who has promised never to leave you nor forsake you, HE is faithful. Trust in Him. Know that He created you just as He wanted you to be and that He will direct your life in such a way that you will know great peace and joy.
Those are the words I have for you today, my sweet daughter. As you grow, I will strive to impress them upon your heart that you may know that you are more than beautiful as the light of your character shines upon the features of your precious face. And I will pray. I will pray that you retain the spunkiness that enables you to shun bows and wear boys' tennis shoes with sundresses. Because you are, without question, a super cool girl.
Love,
Mommy
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