The Official Pitch

In my last post, Pitch Perfect, I promised a little back cover blurb of the novel I'm trying to publish. This goes in the letter I send to literary agents, requesting representation. The idea, of course, is to so enthrall them that they must have more. As always, your comments are welcome!

Without further delay, I give you... THE OFFICIAL PITCH... with one character's name held back, out of little more than my desire to keep something secret. I hope you will indulge me in this.

The first lesson we teach our babes is, "Never approach a stranger without a ready weapon."

When Grit of Berth and Stone, a young woman on the brink of warriorhood, stepped off the well-worn path to aid a struggling woman, she broke the first rule of Threshan society. Cast out of her village, Grit vows never again to show weakness. Everything changes when she meets K, who dares her to accompany him to the Southern Realm.

"When you get around to deciding whether to accept or decline my offer," he says, "it all comes down to one question: Have you the courage to believe that I will help you and not harm you?"

In the courts of K's castle, Grit encounters a courage deeper than she had ever imagined existed, a courage she must claim for herself when K sends her back to the village she swore to forget. There, Grit must correct the errors of her past and prepare to face an ancient evil set on plunging every corner of Chasmaria into utter chaos.

The First Draft 

Pitch Perfect

As many of you know, I'm in the process of finding an agent for my YA Fantasy novel, a.k.a. "That Thing Lisa Won't Shut Up About."

 (Because I love you so much, I'm not even going to yell at you for ending a sentence with a preposition!)

Anyhow, this part of the process involves a lot of "pitching." Sometimes I get a letter and a few sample chapters in which to impress a literary agent, sometimes less. Whatever I get, I labor to make it as close to perfect as possible before sending to said agent. Then I sit back and wonder what I could have or should have done better.

With a Twitter Pitch Party on January 25, and Writer’s Digest’s Dear Lucky Agent Contest both fast approaching (and both of which may be worth looking into if you happen to have a manuscript ready to go), it’s time for me to put my 71,000 or so word novel into 140 characters. For the math nerds out there, if I’ve calculated correctly, that amounts to reducing my novel to four ten-thousandths its original length. I’m going to need some help here.

Please tell me which of the following lines would make you most likely to want to read more. Any constructive criticism – “combine this,” “that sounds dumb,” “what about…” –  is welcome! 

1. Cast out of her village, an aspiring warrior joins a stranger’s army, little knowing how much is at stake or how great her role will be.
2. By stranger betrayed and village shunned, young Grit, once a promising warrior, fights to trust the only one who can bring peace to her land.
3. In a stranger’s castle, a disillusioned warrior finds courage, hope, and a reason to fight for the village she swore to forget.
4. After building a new life in a stranger’s palace, a young warrior learns she must return home to fight for the village that scorned her.
5. Betrayed, shunned, and finally welcomed into a stranger’s palace, young warrior Grit finds courage, honor, and a reason to fight for the village she swore to forget.

Watch for a short “back cover blurb” to be posted later this week, giving more information about this project. For now, since this is all I get to tweet, it’s all you get to read. Please, please, please let me know if you find any of them particularly intriguing! I suppose you should let me know if they all stink, too, though I'm not nearly as eager for that sort of feedback.

Thanks, and best of luck to you if you decide to give either contest a go!

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Courage in the Kitchen

"I can't." 

I heard the frustration in his voice, this child who threatened to crash under the weight of the last section of a worksheet. Then a small miracle occurred, right there in my kitchen. Without a word from me, even before I'd had a moment to compose an encouraging mini pep-talk on how he really, truly can figure out the answer to the question or a matter-of-fact lecture about how we must do some things we don't want to do, which I felt was the real heart of the issue... before any of this could happen, he continued in a voice completely free of emotional strain.

"I can, but I don't want to."

And then, wonder of wonders, he proceeded to complete his assignment.

I call it a small miracle because that's exactly what it was. In the midst of his distress, he found peace, courage, and resolution. I scrapped all thought of cheering or scolding, and told him simply that I admired his courage, that finishing a worksheet might not seem like a courageous thing to do, that little acts of courage like this prepare him for big acts of courage later.

Others have said it before, and much better than I have, but it bears restating. Little acts of courage aren't little. They're huge. They train us for those moments when things of far greater import than a worksheet threaten to overwhelm us. We must practice courage in the little things if we are to have any courage at all in the big things, and we must teach our children to do the same.

Speaking of teaching our children and things that require courage, it's about time we did our math lesson...

When Stubbornness Becomes Determination

I don't have time for eloquence this afternoon, but you have to love a nine-year-old boy.

As he worked diligently to get the southern border of Nepal just right, I assured my son that it would be okay if the salt map wasn't perfect. The judges and spectators at the geography fair would be impressed enough that he had taken the time to make such a neat map.

Without looking up, his attention fixed on the southeastern tip of Nepal, he muttered, "I'm not doing this just to do it."

A moment later, as he added a dollop of salt dough to his map, he said, "I want to win."

If I play my cards right, I'll have a Nepal expert by sundown.

Eliminating 'Poo

I haven't shampooed my hair in over a week.

Ew, gross! 

Right?

WRONG!

I haven't used shampoo in over a week, but I haven't left my hair completely to its own devices, either. I'm just crunchy enough to know that there are plenty of people out there who, for various reasons, have ditched commercial shampoo in favor of cleansers more natural and sometimes, more economical. After a bit of research, in the form of sporadic google searches for "homemade shampoo," I stumbled upon an ingredient I'd seen in some recipes, Kirk's Coco Castille Soap, at my local Wal-Mart and decided to give it a go.

What could possibly go wrong?

For starters, I was worried that my soft, fine hair would become either coarse and dry or slick and oily. I  was worried that it would fall completely flat without the support of my trusted Pantene Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner. (Even with that, I'd been using a dab of mousse most days to give it a little extra boost).

But I tried it anyway. You can find a zillion different recipes for homemade shampoo, some of them quite complicated. I'm not a complicated girl. I kept it simple. No essential oils, no grated and melted soap, no nothing... Just a bar of soap to my scalp and a bit of diluted apple cider vinegar to rinse away any residue. (If you want my to be more precise, I get a bit of lather on my hand, then lather up my head and rinse with a mixture of about 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar per cup of water, dispensed through an old Cub Scout camp water bottle. After that, I rinse well with water. Sometimes I use a little leave in conditioner, but not always).

The result: Clean hair. Easy to brush hair. Soft hair. Shiny, but not greasy, hair. And, most surprising to me, hair that doesn't hang limp, even without mousse. I'm not saying my hair went from flat to fab, but I can't complain. While I don't think my hair is noticeably different, there are small improvements, like fewer flyaway hairs and slightly more body. Again, not flat to fab, but certainly not a failure.

The experiment hasn't been completely without setbacks. After several days of using the soap, I noticed my scalp itching just a tiny bit. I've always been sensitive - as in, my skin gets dry and itchy - to glycerin, an ingredient in this soap, so I switched to diluted baking soda (1 tablespoon/cup of water) for a couple days. (I continued to rinse with the diluted apple cider vinegar). Also, before lowering the ration of vinegar to water, I noticed a slight, um, odor of apple cider vinegar emanating from my head when I worked out. Not awful, but not particularly pleasant, either. You don't really want to walk around the gym smelling like vinegar... Since lowering the ration of vinegar to water, though, the problem seems to have been solved. At this point, I'm planning on alternating between the soap and the baking soda, since the soap gives a cleaner feel.

So, yeah... I haven't shampooed my hair in over a week, and I don't plan to shampoo it anytime soon. I'm getting it clean and keeping it manageable without unknown, unpronounceable chemicals. I'll be spending less and throwing out fewer plastic bottles. I really don't have a great anti-shampoo passion - I'd have few, if any, qualms going back to the shampoo aisle if my hair looked a mess - but if I can maintain or improve my hair, save a bit of money, spare the environment a few plastic bottles, know exactly what I'm putting on my head... In short, if I can do this little thing that may or may not have a great impact on our budget, my health, or the environment, but will be simpler, cheaper, and more natural than what I've been doing... WHY NOT?

If you've been thinking about eliminating 'poo, too, give it a shot, and let me know how it goes for you!

Review: Llloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain

As a mother, I'm always on the lookout for good books for my children. I like to know what they are reading. In particular, I like to know that what they are reading is of good quality in terms of a promoting a positive message and demonstrating competent writing skills. Unfortunately, I'm not always able to keep up with everything they read. I draw the line at Captain Underpants, who must remain on the shelf to pollute someone else's house, but I'm sure some of the books my children bring home from the library would make any decent mother cringe...

This is why I'm going to attempt a series of posts sharing my thoughts on a few books we've read in recent years, starting with those I recommend most highly... so you can look at your library bag (or box or wagon or, as one mother I know once confessed, rolling suitcase) without cringing.

The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander

This series contains five books, beginning with The Book of Three, and I cannot say enough in praise of Lloyd Alexander's work here. Alexander promotes the values - humility, courage, faithfulness, love, honor - that I long for my children to cherish. He does so blatantly at times - 

“Long ago I yearned to be a hero without knowing, in truth, what a hero was. Now, perhaps, I understand it a little better. A grower of turnips or a shaper of clay, a Commot farmer or a king--every man is a hero if he strives more for others than for himself alone.
Once you told me that the seeking counts more than the finding. So, too, must the striving count more than the gain.”  (The High King)

- but never does he come across as preachy. His writing is nothing short of exquisite.

His characters, too, are exquisite. Taran is probably my favorite hero of any tale I've read. Perhaps the best thing about him, in an age of Harry Potters, Percy Jacksons, and Greg Heffleys, is that he isn't a punk, for lack of a better word. Taran is an Assistant Pig-Keeper who longs to be a Hero and who respects those in authority over him. Do not think for a moment that he is a perfect young man. He struggles as much as the rest of us do to make sense of the world around him, to discover his place in that world, and to strive to live nobly. He is everything we should hope for our boys to be. And I think that's the highest praise a mom can give any character - to wish for his good character to influence her children. As much as I enjoyed some of the characters mentioned above, I can't say I want my boys to be like them.

And Elionwy... What can I say of dear Eilonwy of the red-gold hair except that I wish I were as clever as she is?

Alexander's characters will charm you, inspire you, and remain with you as dear, dear friends. They are, without doubt, friends worth sharing with your children.


A few words of almost caution regarding Lloyd Alexander... 

First, he doesn't play around with evil. As in, the black cauldron from which the second book takes its name transforms, in gruesome fashion, unwilling human beings into undead warriors. There is an aspect of the cauldron, though, not to be shared here for fear of spoiling the story, that is beautifully reminiscent of what Christ did for humanity when he hung on the cross.

The books also contain prophecies, wizards, witches, and the like. For some, that's an automatic disqualification. I personally think it depends upon how it is done. Never in the books did I feel like these things were glorified. Rather, the lines between good and evil were clear without making the story predictable.

The long - and sorry, nothing is short about this - of it is that while I felt I ought to issue the above cautions, I personally do not find those elements deal-breakers - at least not in the case of this series. On the contrary, I feel they add richness to the story, in that they enhance the conflict, up the stakes, and show good and evil (and ultimately good's triumph over evil) in much clearer terms than might otherwise be possible in a narrative. You may feel differently - and that's fine, but I believe that in dealing with literature, we do well to look at the whole story, rather than single elements. Honestly, if you're going to dismiss a book on the basis of "unchristian elements," you might want to keep the Bible on the shelf, too. (Baal worship, anyone?)

Another word of caution: Do not assume all of Alexander's books are appropriate for your upper elementary child. I heartily recommend The Chronicles of Prydain, but would have reservations recommending The Westmark series to children in this age group. While excellent, the Westmark books are for a more mature audience, as they deal more graphically with war and complex political situations. Read and enjoy them yourself, but you'll probably want to wait a few years to pass them on to the kiddos.

The Chronicles of Prydain, though... Those you should acquire ASAP, before your kids get their grubby hands on them and you have to wait till the kids are in bed to immerse yourself in the wonderful world of Prydain!

(Yes, I did fight with Andrew over these books. If you need any further endorsement, let me tell you that he devoured this series and went back for seconds, maybe thirds...)

Simplify? Oh, My!

For years, I've been threatening to simplify. Keep five outfits per child, plus Sunday clothes, and one pair each of play shoes and nice shoes. Get rid of anything we don't use on a regular basis. If we haven't missed it or wouldn't miss it, chuck it. A place for everything, and everything in its place. Simplify, simplify, simplify...

The problem is, every time I set out to simplify, something comes up. Correction: something gets up. Four somethings. Four someones.

As I ping-ponged around the house this morning - trying to decide whether to clean the kitchen, wash laundry, fold laundry, clean the little kids' bedroom, shelve books, file papers, or sit back and read to the kids - I realized that simplifying one's life and home is a pretty complicated ordeal, and life just doesn't sit back and wait for you to throw out all that stuff you know needs to go.

The logical thing in such a predicament is, of course, to sit down and blog about it, right? 

Seriously, though, sharing this with you all is going to give me the motivation to overcome at least one part of the monumental task before me. Anyhow, I hope it will. It simply has to help...