Flourishing Failure

Last spring, we began a worm bin, a fun little project in which dead leaves, table scraps, and a handful of worms transform an old trash can into a compost factory.

Like so many of our well-intentioned projects, however, the worm bin kind of, sort of, somehow... Let's be honest... failed.

(Since we're being honest, I'll tell you that it kind of, sort of, somehow failed because I kind of, sort of, somehow forgot to do more than periodically throw in a bowl full of fruit and vegetable scraps).

So when our "compost mentor" asked how our worms were doing and if we'd been watering the bin, I smiled and hung my figurative head in shame. Then I went home, poured some water over the dead leaves and scraps of rotting food, and stirred it up a little. 

And because the darkening sky threatened to let loose a deluge, I left the trash can lid open.

Several days later, because... Let's be honest... neglect is a hard habit to break, I revisited our little failure of a worm bin, and this is what I found:

I'm not gardener enough to tell you with any certainty what these plants are. I have my ideas, but I won't embarrass myself. The point is, things are growing, flourishing even, right in the middle of my failure of a worm bin.

And the other point, far more inspirational than random vegetables sprouting in my worm bin, is that failure isn't always failure. I have read several reports of parents feeling like failures lately. Whether failures as home educators or failures as classroom parents or just plain failures as parents, I think we have all, at one point or another, felt the defeat of failure.

But look at those pictures again. 

Trash and dirt and worms. 

A crummy, neglectful gardener.

And out of it all, Life, beautiful and good.

However ugly, dirty, and thoughtless your life is, it's not the end of the story.  The Creator of the universe, who causes the sun to shine and the rain to fall even on a neglected worm bin, can turn your failures into something beautiful and good.

The Upside of Everything

The winter holidays fill me with a certain amount of trepidation. So much to do, so many places to be... and all intentions of sending out Christmas cards drown in the sea of my internal angst.

The new year comes too quickly for me to send out a New Year's Newsletter.

And then, before I know, the Ides of March is a distant memory, and I have failed to send out the Happy Ides of March Update I thought I'd be able to manage.

But now I'm seeing all these End of the Year Celebrations and Reading Banquets and "Look at my Middle Schooler!" pictures on Facebook, and you know what...

I'm going to rejoice.

I'm going to set aside all our current and past struggles and just rejoice in the past year's successes. Regarding those struggles, they have existed and do exist, and if you want to know more, pour a cup of coffee for us both and get comfortable.... but not today.

Today, I rejoice in the following triumphs:

1. The hubby has taken up running and is logging ridiculous miles. As much as I may tease him for wearing tights or short shorts, depending on the weather, I am immensely proud of him and a little jealous of his tenacity, to say nothing of the pounds he has shed.

2. The eldest is a whopping eleven years of age now. He continues to devour books at a rate too rapid to document, is gaining independence, and is in general, a super-cool preteen. 

3. The nine-year-old has acquired a taste for Percy Jackson and Warriors, and likes most to hear these stories in the comfort of a snuggle, which suits his mother marvelously. His creativity continues to amaze me, as does the progress he has made in communicating and controlling his feelings over the past year.

4. The girl, soon to be six, is beginning to navigate the strange intricacies of socializing with elementary-aged girls. While sometimes appalled at her overly expressive face, I find her ways generally delightful and her tenderness toward the young heart-wrenchingly beautiful. And since I've shared her older brothers' reading feats, she has joined the world of readers and is fitting in just fine.

5. Our little Doodlebug... loves Star Wars, stuffed animals, AWANA, and Mo Willems (whom you all should go read right now, by the way). He has just graduated to the booster seat WITHOUT the back, at least in Daddy's car, a fact that somewhat appalls me. My baby is... not so much a baby anymore. He is, however, a darling, funny, adorable big boy.

6. And then there is yours truly, who finished a novel and is pecking away at revisions in the hope of catching a literary agent and hopefully a book deal in the coming year. At times, I struggle to balance the wonderfully demanding roles of wife, mother, teacher, and author, but each role is satisfying in its own way, and I am immensely thankful for the liberty to hold and cherish each role with which God has blessed me.

The year ahead holds  many changes for our family, some predictable, but others, if the past is any indication of the future, will take us entirely by surprise. 

But always, always, always, whatever may come, 

I rejoice.